People have different notions when it comes to the answering the question, what kind of relationship do I want in life? Although there are many kinds of relationships, any given kind may work for one person but not to another. Do you know why?
Each of us wants a different kind of relationship because each person has their own ideal of how the right one should be and what it shouldn’t be like. Usually, these ideals are greatly influenced by personal history such as childhood experiences, past relationships, goals in life, and so much more.
Before we delve further into the kind of relationship you’re looking for, let us first get to know the different kinds of relationships there is. In this way, you will have a clearer view as to what your heart truly desires.
Four Basic Types of Relationships
You will experience different types of relationships in your lifetime, but they can be summarized into four basic types:
By definition, a family is a group consisting of parents and children living in one household. This degree of kinship may be through blood, adoption, or marriage.
These are people you spend time with outside your family. You know them well and regard them with affection.
This relationship involves being intimate physically or emotionally to another person.
This is defined as the relationship you maintain in your workplace. It’s your relationship to the people you work for, your colleagues, and to the people you serve.
What Kind of Relationship Do I Want?
As you go through life, you will know that some relationships are pleasant and some are best buried in the past. People change through time, and so does their relationship to others.
If you are looking for a relationship, you should first assess yourself and determine your agenda. Having an agenda doesn’t mean you’re planning something negative in mind. It’s more of a guideline on what you want really want in and from a relationship.
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So, when the time comes that you’ll be entering one, you know that you’re going in for the right reasons. Here are some ways to figure out what you really want in a relationship:
- Decide on your preferences
It’s important to know beforehand what you’re willing to compromise and what you’re not. Put together a list; this will be your criteria when choosing a potential match. Do you prefer someone attractive or someone who has a career? Do you want a potential partner who provides substantial resources? These are some examples to get your list started.
- Think of the core values you uphold
Your relationship is a reflection of yourself. Each individual supports personal values and beliefs that may have been instilled in them since they were a child. Know which ones are negotiables and which ones are not.
Choosing a partner who shares the same beliefs as yours can result in a healthier relationship because you both want the same things. Again, each person has different core values, most of these concern having children, dealing with finances, religious beliefs, honesty and trust, and handling important life decisions.
Always remember that shared values are important for a relationship to last. It is the invisible glue that bonds a couple together.
- Reflect on past relationships and the ones around you
Your previous relationships can help you determine what you want. Consider the times you felt the happiest, the times you were so upset or disappointed with your partner, were there any negative patterns or behaviors that you kept repeating? What positive behaviors brought out the best in you?
You can use your past experiences as a roadmap for what you want to have in the future. However, keep in mind that no relationship is the same. You can try new things and experiment until you find what works for you.
Relationships around you can also affect your perspective on love. Although you don’t experience them first-hand, you become aware of the pros and cons of every action they make. By learning from their mistakes and successes, you can build a satisfying relationship in the future.
- Acknowledge your emotional needs
Understanding what you need emotionally from someone will also help you find the person you feel satisfied and happy with. However, don’t expect all your needs to be fulfilled by that person. Another person can only do so much to fulfill your needs, the rest you have to achieve for yourself. If you burden someone else with your demands, you will only end up with a failed relationship.
Becoming A Good Partner
In a relationship, you trade because you want something of the same value, or even higher, in return. Like you, your potential partners are also most likely in search for someone they are compatible with.
Therefore, it’s important to assess yourself first and evaluate the positive things that you can offer in exchange. A good partner is a priceless gift everyone hopes to receive. Here are some tips on how you can become one:
- Love yourself first
It’s common for a couple to prioritize the needs of their significant other before their own. Unfortunately, most of the time, one gives and gives until there’s nothing left. This unhealthy way of giving your all leads to resentment.
Fortunately, you can prevent this from happening if you know that it’s perfectly fine to take care of your needs too. Loving yourself will allow you to love another person wholeheartedly.
- Be considerate of the needs of your partner
Support your partner’s dreams and ambitions and be considerate of their feelings. Staying attuned to the needs of your partner will affirm his or her importance to you.
- Be a good listener
Most of the time, it’s easier to express your own opinion rather than listen to what others have to say. Although your opinion matters to your partner, there are times when your partner will need you to listen to theirs. Pay attention and don’t interrupt. Never be judgmental even if you disagree. It pays to be sensitive to their feelings.
- Be a good communicator
Miscommunication is one of the most common reasons why couples fight. You can prevent this by choosing the words you use and the tone of your voice. Sometimes, what you say can be easily misunderstood by your partner if you’re not careful with these two.
Overall, people have different wants and expectations when it comes to relationships. When you ask yourself, what kind of relationship do I want, you are creating criteria in your mind that will guide you in choosing your next relationship. In the end, you just have to remember that the most precious relationship you have is the one you build with your inner self.